Many years ago, I went through the uncomfortable experience of feeling stuck. At that time, I knew I wanted to write a book but I also believed that I couldn’t do it.
I spent about two years stuck in a place where one part of me (my inner being) wanted to open up and write, while another part of me (my ego) filled me with fears and doubts. I resisted the calling to write with excuses such as, “I don’t have time,” “I am not a writer,” “What can I say that hasn’t yet been said?” and “Who am I to write about the purpose of life?”
Listening to my negative self-talk immobilised me and stopped me from taking action while also made me feel disappointed in myself and powerless. And I remember during that time how I always complained and said to myself, “I am stuck,” “I am stuck,” “I am stuck!”
When you are in that negative frame of mind, you cannot see or notice the opportunities available to you to get out of being stuck and get moving.
Eventually, I decided to give in to my desires to write my book and put all my fears aside. It was then that the ways to make my dreams happen started to show up in my life. The best part was that as soon as I made the decision to stop resisting change, I felt overwhelming relief and excitement for what was ahead of me. And I am glad I let go of the resistance and so will you!
Stop resisting, embrace flow and get unstuck
So, how can you stop resisting, embrace flow and get unstuck?
If you are going through the experience of feeling stuck in some aspect of your life or the next time you feel like that, I want you to contemplate and accept the following thought:
‘Life is constantly flowing forward; therefore, I am never stuck. I am just moving in the same place’
Which means that: if you aren’t stuck and you are moving, then… you can choose to move in another direction. You can move in the direction you want to go!
How do you do that? By applying the following steps:
1- Accept in mind and heart that you are moving (because you are!), even if it doesn’t feel that way
2- Stop telling yourself that you are stuck (this perpetrates your resistance)
3- Identify what you can change or do differently regarding your situation. A small change is all it takes to get you moving out and forward.
Embracing steps 1 and 2 will definitely start that movement by lightening up your self-talk. Step 3 is about approaching your situation from a different vantage point. Perhaps you could think more supporting thoughts, choose different words to express yourself, change your perspective or your attitude. It’s about redirecting your attention and action towards the direction you want to go.
As you implement these steps, you’ll start to notice subtle changes in the way you feel that will inspire you to lower your resistance and embrace the flow of events.
Let me give you a graphical example:
Let’s say that as part of your exercise routine, you ride a stationary bicycle at home. After a while, you become bored because you are always riding in the same place, immersed in the same surroundings and seeing the same things. This situation can easily be related to the feeling of being stuck; notice that even though you are physically stuck –the bicycle is stationary, you are still moving –you are pedalling.
Soon you begin to complain of feeling ‘stuck’ and bored, not only to yourself but to others too. Under these circumstances, you can either accept the situation as a definite reality, OR you can apply the three steps I shared above.
If you do that, as a result of using those three steps, you may feel inspired to move the bicycle somewhere else. This simple change will allow you to enjoy a new experience until you find yourself bored again. After a few times of changing the placement of your stationary bicycle, you may come up with the idea to shift to a normal bicycle and ride outside instead. This new choice will offer you a whole new experiencing of your exercise routine. And, it is possible that during one of those rides, you may feel inspired to embrace another form of exercise and stop riding your bicycle at all.
As you can see, you worked through your feelings of ‘stuckness’ and found ways to move toward what you wanted, e.g. having fun while exercising.
What I want to highlight with this example is that when you choose to address the way you feel, when you stop assuming things, when you are open to take action and embrace change – even small, you open the doors to a range of possibilities that you couldn’t see before.
The trick to getting unstuck and moving is allowing the powerful energy of your desires to give you the drive and confidence to step forward.
And remember: ‘You are never stuck. You are just moving in the same place.’