5 Practices that keep you stuck & prevent you from moving forward
In my last post, I shared and explained the first step in the process to elevate your life.
Step 1: Make the decision to move upward and forward
This step is CRUCIAL because it initiates the shifting of energy. It gets the forward movement started.
However, it’s not an easy step to take because it triggers resistance.
When you make the decision or consider making the decision to make some changes in your life, FEAR and DOUBT usually come to the surface. Those fears and doubts create barriers —resistance— that keep you stuck in your present circumstances and prevent you from expanding and going to the next level where your desires are.
How does resistance show up in your life?
Resistance shows up in many ways. Here I share 5 common ones:
1- You are unclear about what you want. You find that you constantly change what you desire or you are not emotionally invested enough in what you want. Your lack of clarity translates into confusion, inaction and unsatisfactory results.
When you clearly define what you want and where you are going, and you combine that vision with the desire itself —the feeling that moves you to inspired action—, you send a vibration outward that opens yourself to the magical space of co-creation with life. That clear signal is like a magnet that shifts everything in its path. Moreover, clarity feels great!
2- You are scared to stretch yourself outside your comfort zone. We’ve become used to living within the safety and security of our comfort zone. So when the limits of that comfort are tested, resistance surfaces in the form of fears, insecurities, and doubts.
Think about the things you tell yourself about your desires. Maybe you say:
‘I am not worthy or deserving of what I want’, ‘I cannot do/have/be what I desire’, ‘It’s not the right time’, ‘I don’t have the money/time/support/space/knowledge/…’, ‘I don’t know how to make them happen’, ‘I never succeeded before, what’s different now?’, ‘I am too old’, ‘it’s too late’, ‘It’s impossible’, etc.
Don’t allow the negativity of your mind chatter to overpower your desire to expand and move forward. Remember that the chatter is the noise of thoughts in your mind and each one of those thoughts can be challenged and turned into positive ones.
A book I highly recommend is ‘Excuses be gone!’ by Dr Wayne Dyer. In this book, Dr Dyer demystifies the most common excuses we tell ourselves to stop us from moving forward.
Putting ourselves in a place that that feels uncomfortable is not an easy task, but it’s the way to growth and expansion.
Personally, when fears creep up as I try to stretch beyond my current life situations, I always recall Susan Jeffers’ quote: ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway!’
3- You search for answers from the place you are currently in. Albert Einstein once said: “You cannot solve a problem from the same consciousness that created it. You must learn to see the world anew.”
In your desire to elevate your life, you’ll need to engage in a process to peel off the layers that hold you where you are at present. For example, you may need to:
- change some thoughts and believes around your desires (mental shift)
- clear out inner baggage, such us forgiving, letting go, learning to love the self, gaining confidence, etc. (emotional shift)
- embrace new habits, practices and skills (physical shift)
- live with more presence, learn more about yourself, develop trust and faith in the process of life, etc. (spiritual shift)
In order to flow with the upward movement in your life, you must be willing to see things ‘anew’ —as Einstein said. You must accept that you’ll have to unlearn some things, learn new ones, be open to entertaining new perspectives and elevate yourself to that place where the solutions you are seeking exist.
4- You keep the status quo. A few years ago my neighbour decided to add a level to her house. In order to have a bigger and more modern home, she and her family had to endure months of noise, dust, discomforts, and stress before they could enjoy their dream home. They didn’t like the process, but they loved the outcome!
Often we choose to stay where we are —keep the status quo— because we are unwilling to go through whatever is needed to make our desires part of our lives.
Creating a life that makes you happy is a constant process of learnings, growth and change. Some things will have to be removed, updated, broken down and rebuilt in order to give way to the new in your life.
Staying in the comfort of your present life situation because it feels safe prevents you from enjoying what life wants to give you if you just allowed yourself to go through the process of upward movement.
Whether change is triggered by you or is imposed on you by your circumstances, embrace it in the best possible way and make the focus of what you desire and where you are going your guiding light.
5- You try to do it alone and don’t get the right level of support to get you where you want to be. To successfully elevate your life you’ll need a container to nurture, guide, support and hold you accountable along the way. Sometime you can create that container yourself, some other times you need someone else to provide that container for you.
These days there is an abundance of resources to help you achieve almost anything you want by yourself: self-help books, audios, videos, and podcast to name a few.
All that stuff is good and useful if you have the commitment, focus and motivation to learn and apply it on your own. For most people, this is not the case. And even when you are committed, focused and motivated to do the work yourself, there’ll be times when you’ll need to summon all you’ve got to push yourself to keep on going. It is at this critical point when most people give up.
I self-trained myself on many topics and areas. I am focused, motivated, driven, and committed (the reason I am a coach), and I know how difficult it is to continue going when the road gets tough, when you are filled with fears and doubt, and all you want to do is to run under the covers and give into resistance.
If you can’t make the changes by yourself, you don’t have to. There is nothing wrong with you. It just happens that you need a bit of assistance to help you expand and grow beyond your present circumstances.
Working with a coach or mentor is a great experience. It’s fulfilling, rewarding and fun. Don’t just take my word for it, go and read my client’s testimonials. Each and everyone loved their experience of working together (and so did I).
Maybe you don’t need a coach. Maybe you need to team up with a friend, find a teacher or become part of a community that supports you and is in alignment with your values, with where you are going and who you are becoming.
Whatever you do, make sure you have the support you need through a friend, tribe, and/or mentor to stretch you beyond your comfort zone and help you step into your big vision of your life.
Now that you know…
Now that you know how resistance shows up in your life and how it might be holding you back, I want you to review Step 1 and decide whether it’s time for you to look beyond your current circumstances, face the fears and decide to uplevel your life anyway.
This affirmation might be helpful: “I refuse fear to hold me back. I choose love instead”
As I explained in point 5 above, you don’t need to embark on this process alone. If you need assistance, I am eager to help. Contact me and let’s have a talk.
All the best.